Hollywood Junk

This (see photo) arrived in the mail the other day in the form of a paperweight. Why a paperweight? Do I, does anyone for that matter, need a silver and pink and yellow Simpsons paperweight? Will this want to make me see the movie? No.

Unfortunately, this is not the only absurd bit of junk to land in my mailbox in recent months. And with summer movies around the corner, there will be more to come. One of the most insulting I've received was a g-string -- yes, a g-string -- somehow related to the movie, "John Tucker Must Die." (I called the studio to complain that time.) I once got a box packed in dry ice with a cheesecake, I can't remember for what movie. I'd been out of town and it sat at my front door for three days. I called the studio to joke about this, and they turned around and sent me another one.

But there is hope on the horizon. In a fit of reason and cost-cutting, I am told that the Fox marketing department has eliminated promotional mailers, a practice in which postal costs often exceed the cost of the doo-dad (see dry ice above). I can only hope this will catch on across town. But now I wonder: should I send them back my paperweight?